BOLD social predictions for 2015

I can sit here all day and write about trend forecasting and Instagram surpassing Twitter in terms of active users and wait, that actually happened? Well anyway I want to do something different. I want my social predictions to be the hottest of takes that the internet has ever seen for 2015, so here we go.

Everyone will hashtag their first name in Tweets, turning Twitter into HARD TWITTER. Once it gets too easy to compile your thoughts into 140 characters, Twitter users will be looking for a challenge. Add your name as a hashtag and BOOM! Just like that you’re dealing with 134 characters. Or, start referring to yourself in the third person. I promise, you’ll be a trend-setter in no time.

Instagram, tiring of consistent visual content, will start exploring font treatments and adding fonts to our perfectly- filtered photos. Do you know what’s kind of getting old. Pictures of food. And realistically, who even reads the captions. What we want is CONTENT ABOVE THE FOLD.

Someone creates Smellstagram and the results will be exactly what you think they would be. #farts

BIG DATA becomes HUMONGOUS DATA As people want to go more macro to gain insights about the wider society that their customers live in. I have no idea what this means. Just call a sociologist at this point.

The US Government will impose sanctions on BuzzFeed for making quizzes. JUST STOP ALREADY I KNOW HOW BASIC AND 90’S I AM.

SnapChat will finally get real and accept advertising money from the likes of Durex and Trojan because lets call a spade a spade – It’s a sexting app.

That one’s free, advertisers. Feel free to run with that idea.

Vine will become overloaded with “Bruh” vines and “My name is Jeff” that it will become all but obsolete in 2015

Someone will create a “Facebook, but for like marketers and advertisers” that is pay to play. It will be hugely successful as brands compete for advertising professionals, journalists, bloggers and other brands’ attentions for collaboration and synergistic opportunities. Think of it as a mix of Dragon’s Den and Real Housewives of New Jersey. It’s basically the antithesis to Ello and probably slightly less douchey.

Facebook will be overrun with grandparents.

Think about it, the demographic with the biggest growth on Facebook is easily 40+. Now that all of the cool teens are staying away from Facebook, it’s only a foregone conclusion that our parents will all overpower us with Candy Crush requests, retirement vacation property pictures, not-so-subtle reminders that you’re almost 30 and not married yet and posts that have tagged grandmaster flash in them.

Ello will experience a huge user base influx and rival Facebook.

Just kidding, this one is a joke.